Dressed to Fuck Shit Up

We all have times where shit goes pear shaped. You might loose your job er your girlfriend leaves you or your friends or school might be going haywire. When things like this start to fall apart, its easy to crawl up into a ball, throw on your emily haynes er elliot smith, your mineral or broadcast records, turn off the lights and cry yourself into oblivion. But that’s retarded. Your not a weak bastard/bastardette (the lady version), and you know you are better than that. Keep listening to your depeche mode and your echo and the bunny men, but throw in a little acid bath, some death from above 1979, maybe some stooges er some slayer, jay reatard, or something, anything, to remember that your a brutal son (or daughter) of a bitch and your not taking this shit lying down.

Now straight to the point. Life fucked you. The powers at be are trying to break you down, to make you kneel, cry, and beg for mercy. Sucks, seeing as your so much more tough than that. a good friend of mine gave me some good advice when i was down, “Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god.” It doesn’t matter if he stole it from a meme on 4chan.org. It’s a good attitude.

Ok ok i know, “where the fuck are you going with this Austin?” well if you’d give me a god damned second ill tell you. shit man. come on.

Life is trying to fuck you over. Nobody gives a shit. Your angry, bitter, and you wanna punch the first bro who looks at you. This is where military fashion comes in. You wanna go rambo on the world, you better dress for the part first.

Stacey here was just fired from her job in a used book store. Shortly after her termination, her boyfriend Steve left her fer a neon raver he met at fabric. if you so much as look at her wrong, she will cut you to ribbons. she is not to flexed with. the grey double btn with a front heavy tail/sides and black skirt are like the warning colors of a poison dart frog. they're both very pretty, and theyll both kill you in under 15 min. she used to be such a nice girl.....

pete’s ex took his dog. enough said. hes out for blood.

keep your ammo handy AND your pants up. mulit-functionality. fuck yeah.

pea coats, dog tags, luger bullet earrings, wool caps, combat boots, braces, and belts. It’s all about dressing like a warrior When the world tries to get you down, put it in a sleeper hold.

So You’re Going to a Party Tonight…

    Wether or not you want to admit it, parties are a big part of college life. Even if you avoid parties like the plague, they still dictate much of the sociopolitical aspect of your life bubble. 

    So you’re got invited to a party tonight. What fun. Looks like your facebook account finally payed off. Don’t get to excited though buddy, there’s a few things to think about before you go off and cut up the ol’ rug. first things first:

1) what type of party is it?

    Too many times have i gone to a random party only to find out that it’s not exactly what i thought it would be. Trust me, being run out of a party because you don’t know anyone on the ASU rugby team isn’t exactly the classiest way to spend your friday night.

knowing what kind of party it is will help you to avoid coming in contact with guys like this.

 

Instead, try to find someone you know who knows the crowd, and who can tell you if you should expect a kegger full of bros , a dance party full of hipsters, or just a bunch of poli-sci majors sitting around watching C-Span. The more you know about the party, the better off you’ll be.

2) dress accordingly 

    This one should be common sense, but then, better safe than sorry. Anyway, what ever party your going to end up at, the way you dress is important. There’s a few key rules here. Don’t wear your skinny jeans to zuma bar or any other place that looks like its full of extras from MTV’s Jersey Shore. Those guys sexual insecurities may just be in their heads, but their fist might just end up in your face, too.

    I’ve also come to realize another good rule over the last few months. do NOT wear leather to a vegan pot luck. Seriously, you should probably  even avoid pleather. Those guys take animals VERY seriously. You dont want to end up covered in red pant. Your ramone’s jacket will never be the same.

    Hipster parties are fair game, and maybe thats why i like them so much; you pretty much have total freedom to wear whatever the fuck you want to. Just, please, for the love of God, don’t be that guy who wears the suit jacket with jeans. Nobody wants to be that guy.

"Your not impressing anyone with your suit jacket and jeans combos JEREMY CLARKSON!"

 3) have an escape plan

   So ok you know where your going, you know who is going to be there, and your dressed in a way that isn’t going to get you killed. Rad. Now before you get in your car and start blasting Major lazer and mixing flirtinis at the same time, you should figure out  a plan b. It sucks when you get to party only to find out its been busted by the cops, or you got the wrong address. One of the last parties i ever went to in south Scottsdale was broken up because some guy starting pulling a gun on people, just as my friends and i had arrived. It’s times like these when it’s good to have a back up plan. Maybe its hanging out watching VHS at your friends place, or going to your favorite bar, or throwing golf clubs through windshields on mill. What ever your into, make a plan b. 

    Ok so no you really are ready! Party on Dude! heres a song off of good ol’ youtube  to start your night off right.

the XX and Holy Fuck: do yourself a favor (srsly dood, rofl)

 

the xx, four friends who met as class mates attending the Elliott School; an institution whose musical alumni includes Hot Chip, Burial, and the Four Tet/Fridge/Adem family.

    the XX are a three piece band from Wandsworth, England, and they seriously kick ass. they’re blend of minimalistic drums and guitar with beautiful female vocals and understated male vocals that create a sort of moody atmospheric duet.
    I really have a hard time trying to explain this band to people at the record store; they’re sound is something of it’s own. But trust me on this one, these guys rock. The fact that they’re all only 20 just makes it all that much more amazing( and also makes me feel like i really need to step up my game).

thexx.info/

  Holy Fuck. I really just like saying it, something about the name is kind of freeing. Being able to say, “so have you heard Holy Fuck?” to a random hipster who walks into the record shop is pretty liberating when you think about it. The best part is, the band itself is pretty rad, too.

holy fuck is Brian Borcherdt,Graham Walsh, Matt "Punchy" McQuaid, and Matt Schulz

    they sound almost like if the band HEALTH took ritalin. Like if HEALTH was a young teenager with ADHD, committing crime and getting wasted on school nights, Holy Fuck would be the more responsible and level headed  young-adult version. That isn’t to say that Holy Fuck isn’t good; they’re great. The mix of real instruments( keyboards,drums,bass) with non-instruments( toy ray-guns, toy keyboards, and even a 35mm film synchronizer) make them sound extremely unique. The fact that they do all of this with no computers or traditional looping systems blows my mind. 

www.holyfuckmusic.com/

INTRODUCTION

    Most people say that growing up is tough. I think that’s bullshit. Growing up is the easy part, it’s being an adult that royally sucks ass.  A “rough childhood” for most was divorced parents, or orthodontic  head-gear, not making the cheerleading squad or not fitting in in school. None of those things are a walk in the park, but everyone has to deal with a broken family or a fucked up high school experience. The real shit storm doesn’t begin until your on your own. That is when the real problems start to come up. Like, how are you going to survive till next thursday when you don’t have any food? where the hell has your room mate been for the last week and why is it that even though his door is shut, every time you walk by his room it  smells like two farts fighting over a dead wildebeest? or my personal favorite; who shot the dog? (seriously who shoots a dog, thats fucking horrible).

    It’s at this point however, that we find out who we really are. Do you steal food? Gamble for the money? or just get creative with the plant life that inhabits your neighborhood? Times of stress bring out our true characters, and that is where i am right now.

    i work in a record store, i like art, music, and yes, fashion(lolzors). i usually have no food and i constantly have to fend for myself in a city full of crazy places and even crazier people But i love it, and  wouldn’t have it any other way. I start this blog now to tell my stories and relate, to feature new bands i find, new artists and authors, and new fashions, and to tell you the things a young hipster should know to not only survive but enjoy yourself.